Autism

Love

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I love you, my two littlest loves. To my eldest, I love you for your courage, your kindness for your affectionate nature. I love you even for your stubbornness, your needs that must be met, am grateful for your myriad ways of expressing them. I love you for your passion for horses, the gentle way […]

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Back to Normal

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He gently snores in recovery as I adjust the blankets around his bare shoulder, the rough cotton gown that afforded him some modicum of privacy having slipped down his chest. I carefully watch the plastic apparatus in his mouth that keeps his tongue from blocking his airway as he breathes, see him slowly working his […]

Change

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“Zach, Mommy’s taking care of Justin” I call to my littlest love as he once again requests juice and pretzels, a snack he is perfectly capable of getting for himself (but it’s so much more fun to ask mommy to get it for him). I turn to go back into Justin’s bedroom and find my […]

Keeping Things Stable

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“Mommy, Justin’s praying again” my almost eleven-year-old tells me as he heads upstairs, and as I look behind me in the foyer I see he’s right. His older brother Justin, who is fourteen and severely autistic, has been having “staring spells” for the past two months, and in order to reduce our youngest son’s anxiety […]

Help Yourself

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It’s been a rough few months with Justin, our severely autistic teenaged son, but even as I’m writing this I know it could be worse, much worse. In my idle moments (there aren’t many, but what woman today has a lot of these) I surf through comments made on Facebook support groups, and despite what’s […]

My Son’s Autism Diagnosis

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Over the years people have asked me about how and when Justin was diagnosed with autism. My boy got an official diagnosis at seventeen months from a developmental pediatrician, received a spectrum diagnosis at a tender age that was very unusual back in 2004. I remember the pronouncement as being anti-climactic, as just a month […]

Hope for the New Year

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As I sing the tune to “Whistle While You Work” which just played on my son’s DVD I see his ebullient smile as he gifts me with his gaze, and as I wrap him tightly in his towel I pull him in closer for a hug. These precious moments of connection have been fleeting in […]